Around 20 alumni gathered virtually on 3 December 2021 for the Improving Your Emotional Wellness session by 365 Cancer Prevention Society – a registered charity organization that also delves into emotional wellbeing. Mr Andrew Ong, the speaker, was warm and energetic, making the talk inviting. Surprisingly, Mr Ong is a fellow SUSS alumni (Class of 2019, Master of Counselling)!
Emotional wellness comes under a much larger umbrella of mental wellness – the other aspects being social wellness and psychological wellness. Mr Ong explained the benefits that come with taking care of our emotional wellbeing. These include maintaining healthy relationships, being able to enjoy and be contented with life, and building resilience to stress. Yet, Singapore was crowned the most emotionless country in the world. This is troubling because ignoring your emotions may have repercussions, such as excessive worrying, and issues with our memory, sleeping or appetite.
Why do we struggle with our emotions?
Broadly, the reasons could be of a biological, psychological or social in nature. Mr Ong shared how difficult it is to separate thoughts from emotions, and introduced the concept of “unhelpful thoughts”, for example, adopting an “all or nothing” mindset, labelling ourselves and the all-too-famous “jumping to conclusions” When we label our emotions accurately, we are more able to discern the precise cause of our feelings.
– Susan David
Something that Mr Ong introduced which I found interesting was the Emotion Wheel. It can be used to help us identify our emotions and, as indicated by the quote from Susan David, get us started on discerning the root cause of our feelings.
Additionally, here is a helpful emotion management tip offered by Mr Ong! When we do get overwhelmed with a surge of emotions, we were advised to S.T.O.P. It is an apt acronym for
- S – Stop. Don’t act immediately. Wait.
- T – Take a breath.
- O – Observe. What am I thinking and feeling about? What am I focusing on? What am I reacting to?
- P – Practise what works. Consider the consequences. What’s the best thing to do?
Mr Ong also discussed about toxic positivity. It is not healthy to suppress or refuse to acknowledge your negative emotions, and to adopt an I-must-always-be-happy mentality. Doing so invalidates our true emotions, ignoring the underlying problems, and stunting our emotional growth and development. Rather, we have to acknowledge all emotions (both good and bad) and understand that we can feel a mix of emotions, even if they seem to be opposing.
This session has been meaningful for me, and I have become more conscious about my feelings and thoughts. Thank you, Mr Ong, for delivering such an insightful talk.
To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be. When we let be with compassion, things come and go on their own.
– Jack Kornfield